I wrote this back in March

All this talk about heartbreak on a physical level has me thinking.

When you meet someone and fall in love you part of that process is opening your heart and your life up to that person. It can at times be a tension, a process to make enough space for the both of you.
And if it ends there is not only heartbreak and pain and sadness, there is also this emptiness left behind.

They say the hardest thing about divorce is that married couples tend to divide up jobs and knowledge. It's like you share a brain. And when you part company it's like half your brain has walked away from you. So the best way to ge through is to have other people around who can help you navigate
At this point you have choices

To close back up.
To claim and inhabit that space yourself.
To keep it open for towards what the world has to offer.

On some days we mope

In place of the pain
There is a terrible numbness.
I can't feel my extremities.

But unlike exposure to extreme cold - right now

I can not even feel the center of me.

I know that this is a process with stages.
and that it takes time.
But I can't help but wonder that winter could arrive so early this year.